Why was my mind locked?

Today I completed six months in this blogsphere with over 6000+ hits. These six months have been the toughest time of my life. With times me being just a click away from deleting this blog and other time I love it that I think how will it be a few years from now.

The good feeling is because of all the care I get from my fellow bloggers and the way I can express my self here which sometimes you can’t even speak to your friends about. The bad is that I feel most of the time that the blogsphere world is no different than our normal world. I feel people are not real with what they write and that’s where I felt the purpose of blogging drops.

Correct me if I am wrong aren’t we supposed to express our feelings here openly whereas most of the time I feel that bloggers are pretending to be what they are not. I don’t mean all of you but still a few around us are which makes me feel if I have to meet the same people in real life why am I getting into another headache of meeting the same people here.

Honestly I blog to let my true feelings out. It’s like an online diary to me where I can express freely and openly. I am here because from my busy life when I move around the blogs on my list I feel relaxed after reading Chika’s hatred for men, grey’s ranting to Blue’s simplicity so all of you there have something special in you that makes my day at the end worth smiling.

Lately as many of you know what I have been through. I did enough nagging about it and I just feel today is the end of all that nagging. I am a normal person; I want to live as for who and what I am not; not to cry for who has left me! What ever has happened is my past. Remembering it I can’t live my future or present. It just was eating me day and night. These thoughts literally had blocked and locked my mind and the sense of thinking further.

The first step is to kill my identity. Amu is dead as of yesterday (Allah yer7ama). Why did I kill this identity? This name was given to me by her. I don’t know how it came but it was there as long as I was with her. I loved it till then but it’s hard to live with it!!

My new identity is Speedo and that’s because everything in my life has something to do with quickness or speed. From my work to my daily life, from me being typical guy loving sports cars, motorcycles and speed boats.

Speedo