Sunday, January 27, 2008

If you found out......

That you are pregnant and not married what would you do?

This was a question I had it on my poll a week back and surprisingly it triggered a lot of questions in the minds of bloggers.

Well let me tell you the reason for the this poll. I came across a story where a women has a bf and she is now pregnant but not married. For one it might be 3eeb (including me) but others might think its normal. So I decided to raise the same question as a poll to know what would you be thinking about it?

Some people think that there is a women who is pregnant by me and I am raising this question? Well simply NO...I am proud to be member of virgin group.

Others think WTH is wrong with Amu why such a poll. Well its just a general poll why are you taking it so personal!!!!

My blog is about me and general views. I am not scared to hide what I am or what I do!!!

This time I reverse the question on one of the bloggers request and ask all the men

What would you do if you made a girl pregnant?

Girls feel free to leave your comments too...

I will be the first one to answer in the comments as I am raising this question....

38 comments:

..::Amu::.. said...

If I made a girl pregnant...I wouldn't move back..If I have done something like that I will hold on to it and stay with the girl till she delivers it and I will get married to her!

perfecty said...

if i was a guy w made her pregnant, i'd marry her. about what i'd do, madri lesh 7aa6 suicide, i don't see suicide as an option, it'll make things much more worse. bs i understand inah some people might committ it as such situations. if i got pregnant, ra7 ashteeki 3alaih! :@

Noufa said...

if I get pregnant at THIS age, I'd defiently get an abortion.

and a guy in Kuwait get a girl pregnant has NO options LOL he HAS to marry the girl. they'll beat him to do so!

intlxpatr said...

It's definitely a cultural and values issue. Many young women have the baby and give it away, in cultures where parents support the daughter and having sex is not shameful. There are always people who can't have children and are eager to adopt.

Some women choose abortion because they don't have parental support, don't have a man who wants to marry them and need to finish their education, work, whatever.

A highly controversial study, buried almost as soon as it showed up, showed a dramatic drop in the crime rate 18 years after abortion was legalized in the US. Their conclusion was that unwelcome, unplanned babies do not lead such happy lives as those who are planned and wanted.

I know, I know, I said it was controversial.

Mirror Polisher said...

Intlxpatr is right on about crime rate dropping in the us after abortion was legalized. i read that in Blink...or was it Tipping Point...or maybe that Freaknomics book.

What would i do if i got pregnant and not married? First of all that is impossible unless i was raped. But in general i would definitely keep the baby and get married ONLY if i think the father and i could provide a healthy home for him/her.

rieaane said...

It depends, if I was impregnated by a man I love then I will keep the baby even he will not mary me, I'll treasure it as a remembrance from the person I love most. BUT if I was raped (Allah forbids) then I would rather make an abortion because I don't want to keep anything that will give me a nightmare!

'Grey' said...

Man ! my vote is for Deliver without getting married ..... But if i was a girl i would have 'controlled' until wedding !

ammaro said...

again, it depends how the people invovled are raised. in certain countries, getting pregnant unmarried isnt so much a big deal, because sex isnt tied down by marriage. here, on the other hand, you shouldnt have sex unless you were married, therefore screwing up everything esle.

if you get someone pregnant and then marry them even though you dont like thme, you know its gonna end up in divorce and a fatherless child, or an unhappy life for everyone. tough situation

bb q8 said...

Amu: i would support the girl even if i didn't maary her. more important is to support and take care of the child...
Ammaro: it is not about certain countries, it is about moral values. pre-marital sex is not allowed in most religions, but some people don't care about what religion teach them, or aren't religious at all. Also, i know of a couple that married because the girl was pregnant, they are still married after 18 years and have had 2 children after the first.

Shoush said...

Well, any 2 ppl who have pre-marital sex SHUD be open to the possibility of a pregnancy occurring as a result. So if they do get pregnant, they shud both be responsible for cleaning up their mess. No one forced them to hav sex in the first place. And them being old enuf to hav sex, means their old enuf to own up to their own mistakes.

In this case, our society wud probably blame the woman, as men are usually marfoo3 3anhom ilqalam, but of course they r both responsible as a pregnancy is impossible to occur without the involvement of both the male and female competent. And becuz our religion forbids abortion (unless it was of a pregnancy resulting from rape, Allah ykafeena ilshar), the only reasonable solution to this problem is probably getting married.

kuwaitya_7saweya said...

ok first let as talk about it in religion way it's 7ram 7ra 7ram
but some of lovers who do this get marride (( and i'm one of them that mean i will get married if do something like that alah la y8ola))
but i know a girl she become pregnant and the guy want to married her but her father say no cause the guy was not from there family then she had an oberation after the oberation she dead
i know that guy he still cry and he always remmber her
so maybe he did something wrong but her father make a big mistake

GE&B said...

Interesting hypothetical.
But I'm with shoush on this one.

The girl is screwed (no pun intended) either way. She's essentially forced to marry the guy or terminate the pregnancy. She can't keep an illegitimate child in Kuwait.

But I think the boy should "man" up and face the consequences especially that he's getting the easy end of the deal.

At the risk of sounding preachy, I think these discussions speak to the extent that we've استمرأنا المنكر [normalized/"became acquainted to" sin].)

Anyway, Allah ikafeena w'iyakum ilshar.

And make good choices people.

powder said...

why make a girl pregnant if ur not married to her??

..::Amu::.. said...

powder: *thinking* it wasn't me :D

Anonymous said...

llol i know bas y3ne in general , people just dont know how to use theire brains , emotions and feelings overcomes the mind , thats a big problem

powder said...

ok anonymous was me , i forgot to sign in :P

..::Amu::.. said...

powder: people are dumb!! I guess they are right when they say some guys are D*** head...

Navy Girl said...

huh well .. i guess your either still dreaming or still thinking about that dream you had !!! :D

..::Amu::.. said...

navy: you cracked me on that...loooooooooooool *secret*

powder said...

lol right :P and what about the girls ??

they are as wrong (stupid) as guys :D

..::Amu::.. said...

powder: mmm I dont rem anything for girls right now!! you tell me so I can use it in future :P
but true they are not innocent either :D *yaay I support the guys*

Anonymous said...

well no 1's perfect , we all do mistakes hehe , but people just need guidance ,thats all

powder said...

my god , i hate when this happens to me , damn explorer :(

..::Amu::.. said...

powder: lool you laptop suckS..you need a mac!

powder said...

MAC= BIG FAT NOOO

we r enemies :P

..::Amu::.. said...

powder: no you cant be a copy cat...I hate mac too...but I am friends with them when I go to canada cuz I dont have a choice my cousins have them :)

powder said...

im not a copy cat lol ,i just hated them all my life , i dont like theme and appearance and i sure dont like the msn there , it sucks big time

..::Amu::.. said...

powder:'i just hated them all my life' Q: when you were born was mac there?

true it sucks big time *lets hope the mac team is not around reading this :D*

powder said...

LOL i dont know . where they ? i just hated them ever since i met them :P

3ady let the mac team read this, there will be action :D

powder said...

were* :P

..::Amu::.. said...

so you need some action? trouble maker... :p

powder said...

yes yes lol i like action and i like debating :D

..::Amu::.. said...

No doubt I have 33 comments on this post..you just don't stop :P (joking) well I guess as a women you like both but me I give up if I feel the person is not understanding!

powder said...

hmmmm feeh farq bain understanding oh the point of view , we all have our different views and we should respect it , i dont have to like it but i have to respect it :D lol

TOUCHE' said...

Ok, this going to be a long one.

It happens A LOT in Kuwait, no denying, everyone knows about abortion pills which seem like the magic pills and the divine life savers.

The strange thing about the responses is that the majority of the male comments eluded the answer by simply saying what’s appropriate to say in such situation, there were no I’s in their comments. I know the answer is literally tough. I even had a dilemma imagining what might I do in such a situation, I know the right thing to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s applicable.

Hell, I’ll say input and let hell breaks loose.

If that had happened in my early college years or early twenties when I used to be a mere student living on parents pocket money, then I think I’d probably go for the abortion option, as having a kid that way and ending it with marriage when I still live on whatever I get from my parents is a big big NO. And basically such incidents only shall happen due to the impulse of the moment and the youth drive, basically not a single shred of thought could’ve been there if such thing happened.
So it is abortion, and then when the time is right I would’ve proposed and got it the right way. If it has ever happened then it would’ve been with the love of my life that I want to share the rest of it with her.

Hell, at a desperate time and as a desperate measure to get together to force families to approve a marriage, the idea of getting pregnant on purpose to force them into approval and to conceal the scandal. I couldn’t do it, not to her, to her family and to ours. It had to be done the right way.

Now, if I fast forward to the current time and if such an incident happens, then marriage is the answer.
You have to consider many factors, as Intl Xpat mentioned, it is highly controversial. You have to consider the age, the back ground of the story, if both of them were old enough and were in love and had a future plans to get married then the answer is really simple. But if it was the result of a mere casual relation which was bound to end anyway, then there are other considerations to look at, in that scenario, the marriage is meant to end and then leaving a miserable innocent life on the line.

It’s damn controversial; there is no right answer for it.

Canc3riaN said...

HOT HOT HOT TOPID :P

All i have to say is: Allah la ygooool !! Eb3ed 3an el shar w '3anneeelo :P

Canc3riaN said...

Topic*

noracassandra said...

Ok I thought it was time for me to comment on this post! I read it few days ago but I didn’t have time to comment!

I got pregnant in Kuwait by my boyfriend! He was a good guy and we got married even if we didn’t really love each other and we were very young! But as in Kuwait you have no many options! And one more thing we didn’t last even for 1,5 year!

Now if my girl would come to me pregnant, at the same age I got pregnant with her, I will tell her the choices she has… I will tell her marriage is not one! But trying to live with the father and see if it works might be one! And abortion is one! And having the baby and being a single mother at young age is one! But giving the child for adoption is defiantly not one!

Intlxpatr said it was a cultural thing and I totally agree! I find it cute and sweet that a man that passed the age of 20 is virgin! And so do I find any girl! But again I am from different world than you are! Yes I know you see t as 3eeb! But I see it as life! And there is nothing to be sorry about but just take your lesson from it and learn!

About men in Kuwait or any country as such! As it is 3eeb, and not fair! I see as the man has to stand on his feet and do the right thing to the girl! If you had sex with a girl from a family that will have problems of her being pregnant with out marriage you have to as you have caused ½ of the situation to take responsibility for your action! And maybe even make an agreement with the girl that if it didn’t work by 1 or 2 years then just separate but with out trying to trash each other’s reputation, because both sides are responsible for it!

Oh yes and by the way.. even the way you are getting engaged is totally cultural thing! I would never let my daughter marry a man she didn’t spend years to know… if she doesn’t want to have sex and stay virgin I have no problem in that… but no way just few chats! And especially as you say you get to behave in certain way and dress up in certain cloths! I married my man after 2 years living with him! I knew exactly who he was, and know I might be able to spend the rest of my life with him! As I still believe today! So sweets, it’s totally culture! :)